jprovo's Web Crap

This must be the jumping off place...

-The Wolfgang Press


Every page on the net is "under construction". These pages are "under mutation"; they change every time they are visited, barring a few nescessary constants. If you're lazy enough to stay here fifteen minutes and your browser supports META tags, we'll reload the page for you.

Service offer: send me unsolicited, "bulk" (commercial or non) email, and I'll proof it for 50 dollars a line! See here for more info on my valuable offer!

If you want to be blackholed at the gweep.net mail server, thou wayward dread-bolted apple-john, send mail to my old flame-bucket or to an old address. If you don't like something about these pages, or wish to correlate address scraping thou spongy reeling-ripe barnacle, send mail to my current flame-bucket. If you like something about these pages, send mail to web-comment where scraped appears in the mailto link.

Peeve-of-the-Moment:
Use of the non-word "authoring". You don't do "paintering" or "scultpering", you "paint", "sculpt" and "write". Get over it.

Little-known JZP Fact Number Seven:
He used to have a late-night radio show on WUVT in Blacksburg, Virginia. Unfortunately, it was on the AM side, not the FM station, but he subbed-in for FM folks from time to time.

"Never `presume,' because when you do, you make a `prez' out of `u' and `me'."
---"The Anarchist Chocolate Dessert Cookbook"
(Unknown, Kropotkinist-Spoonerist-Wonkaist Thought Press, 1991)

I suggest checking out the online anarchist library of Spunk Library or visiting the Straight Dope... before it is too late.

Want more spew? Your's phone's ringing. It's your PlanetGlobalCyberVillageVirtual sales person

And as a parting shot, a sample from the Weekly World Spew's concert, club and music classifieds:

Weekly World Spew
Concert, Club and Music Classifieds
Live at Founders DAKA!
 Doo Mixers
 with
Gaggle of Sperm Whales!
  Preacher Position!
    and Toads on Heroin!

You won't want to miss next evenings Lollapalooza!

FIVE BANDS!
Prince Platypus and the Monday Boards
VH1
Gila Italia
German Industrial Giants: Briefackuchgeubdewachuchs Kaltsteinack
An Oh-My-God-ning Protest
 . . . with Freakshow on the Second stage
Call 555-9347 for tickets!

The Reverb Heissenwechack Heissenspanach Philharmonic
 appearing for one time only with ...
The Ben Hutchins Society
 ... Free Crystal Pepsi at the door!

Chemical Mothers
 performing for the first time with ...
Teep Red
 ... Free Formula 44 at the door!

Cheers,
joe